At last, an Uncomplicated Way to Purchase Eyeglasses on the Net!

Welcome to Bartleby Jones EyeWhere! We know—having paid great revenue to Meta to locate out—that you only simply click via on an regular of 5 out of 8 Instagram ads, so we benefit your awareness and promise to make your check out at the very least as worthwhile as scrolling through those people pictures of your sorority sister’s Labraschnoodle or obtaining the industry-disrupting pizza oven, which is accumulating dust in your kitchen. (We see it each individual time you boot up your Oculus.)

So, are you all set to stage up your Spex Appeal™? Just abide by these 4 easy steps, and you’ll be rocking new eyeglasses in no time!*

*Owing to concerns with the supply chain and boy or girl-labor shortages, genuine transport time is now 5 to seventy business times.

1. Decide on your frames! “Try on” choices by downloading our patented A.R. Framr app (a Snapchat filter that we purchased from our babysitter, who’s majoring in pc science at WashU). After you have located a pair that gives you flashbacks to when you were bullied in seventh grade, choose a single of our interesting color solutions, such as tortoiseshell, turtle-shell, or the former brand of the San Antonio Spurs (the only licensing offer we could afford to pay for).

2. Request your mom for Dr. Herschbaum’s quantity. You try to remember him—the very last optometrist (ophthalmologist? otolaryngologist?) you noticed suitable just before your driver’s take a look at? Oh, you do not stay in New Jersey any longer? Then have on something cute to the closest LensCrafters and persuade the male at the rear of the counter to update your prescription for no cost, as a special favor, just this after. Then snap a pic of your ’scrip and text it to us, together with your Social Security quantity and blood sort.

3. FOR THE Like OF GOD, Never Forget TO Mail US YOUR PUPILLARY Length! No, that’s not aspect of the eyesight test—duh. It is some thing individual and even additional essential. We have to have to know how significantly apart your eyes are, O.K.? It is super uncomplicated to evaluate. Just stick one finger on each and every eyeball, maintain your hand in that specific situation as you lessen it onto a ruler, and then convey to us what it suggests. Five inches? Sure, that appears about right—if you are cosplaying as a nerdy hammerhead! Seriously, it is not that tough. Try out again. Two and a half inches? Confident, near adequate.

4. Ready to pay back? Effortless peasy! As you know, all of our frames listed here at Bartleby Jones EyeWhere are only $99! Let us just acquire a speedy look at some add-on solutions, and then you are going to be all established.

-Lenses (+$50**)

-Prescription lenses (+$99**)

-Accurate prescription lenses (+$149**)

-Progressive lenses (+$149**)

-Average lenses (+$49**)

-Democrat-in-identify-only lenses (+$79**)

-Slim lenses (+$199**)

-Ultra-slender lenses (+$249**)

-Wafer-slim lenses (+$399**)

-Scratch-resistant coating (+$199**)

-Coat-resistant filming (+$249**)

-Smudge-resistant scratching (+$199**)

-Anti-glare (+$399**)

-Anti-flair (+$299**)

-Anti-Cher (+$49**)

-Groucho Marx nose, mustache, and eyebrows attachment ($99**)

-Shipping and delivery ($24, or totally free with 5 or extra pairs!)

-Handling ($48)

-Taxes (fifty-two per cent—sorry, our headquarters are in the Netherlands)

**For every eye.

Very good information! If the whole total due for your $99 frames is much more than $1,500, you can fork out in ten weekly installments, or you can just roll the expense into your regular monthly pupil-personal loan bill.

Thanks for searching with Bartleby Jones!

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