Pass up Manners: Close friends and family joke our lunches are business costs

Pricey Overlook Manners: I am a qualified public accountant who usually entertains consumers and small business associates all through lunch and evening meal meetings. I also get pleasure from web hosting loved ones and pals at places to eat.

When I pick up the check out with the latter team, somebody usually tends to make a remark these types of as, “This will have to be a business cost or a produce-off” — suggesting that I’m either cheating my organization or dishonest on my taxes, alternatively than managing them to a nice food at my private expense. I’m at a internet decline as to how to answer.

Great 1. Overlook Manners will do her finest to present some asset-stance.

Terrible accounting puns apart, she recommends that when confronted with this sort of rude accusations, you seem damage and quietly say, “I would under no circumstances do that. I just required to acquire you out and take pleasure in your corporation.” Even if they had been joking, that should to shame the stock out of them.

Dear Miss Manners: When is it all right to refer to anyone as “dead”?

My cousin died of cancer at age 82. She experienced been quite unwell for some time, so it was not a shock when she died. I wrote her partner a condolence letter, saying that I was “sorry to master about her demise.” I then reread my note and puzzled if I should have explained anything along the lines of her “passing” alternatively.

Is it as well severe to say “dead” or “death”? Why do some men and women say “passing” or “passed”? It just looks to be sugarcoating death.

Individuals do go to excellent lengths to steer clear of stating the term “death,” just as they do the term “money.”

But euphemisms can frequently audio foolish and inaccurate. That you “lost” someone begs the listener to question at your forgetfulness. And “passing” has spiritual connotations that might not be supposed (while “passed away” is a bit far better).

Overlook Manners condones the use of the term “death” as very long as it does not seem unduly severe — and she does not believe what you wrote does.

Pricey Pass up Manners: My partner and I have a few attractive grandchildren. Many individuals inquire me, “How frequently do you see your grandchildren?” When I reply with something but the term “daily,” I am typically achieved with responses this kind of as, “Oh, is that all?” or “Don’t you would like it ended up additional typically?”

Is there some “grandmother contest” that I am unaware of? I sense as nevertheless I’m staying judged by how generally I see, or never see, my grandchildren. I have under no circumstances thought to request other individuals this dilemma, and my husband is in no way requested.

Our youngsters feel we are amazing parents and grandparents, and we are delighted with the time put in with our grandchildren. What is the ideal way to react to this question that will not lead to additional intrusive issues?

“The excellent amount.”

New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday by Saturday on washingtonpost.com/guidance. You can mail thoughts to Miss Manners at her web-site, missmanners.com. You can also observe her @RealMissManners.


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